Now days it seems that there are so many spoiled children and mothers who are simply slaves to their children. I really don’t believe that this is the way it should be. Children should be trained to behave properly and do tasks according to their abilities and moms should be able to enjoy the time they have with them instead of being worn out from being their servant. One of my favorite author’s & speakers says regularly our goal as parents should be to raise Godly, marriageable adults. I think the Godly part is obvious, if we fail at that we have failed as parents; however, most people miss the marriageable part. Most moms forget to train their sons to me marriageable (able to care for themselves, their wife and family) and instead train their sons to expect their wife to cook, clean and slave for him just like mom did while he he does little to nothing and shows no appreciation. It is all well and good if his wife marries a woman who desires to cook and clean for him. This was my personal choice in life, and I hope my son will choose a Godly woman who will love and respect him and fulfill the Proverbs 31 model I try to follow. However, I speak from experience when I say it is much easier to do when you have a loving, caring, grateful husband who is willing to pitch in and doesn’t expect you to do everything for him. I would like to do my daughter-in-law the favor of training her husband now instead of making her spend 10 years trying to re-train bad habits out of him. Daniel is one and we are starting to work on him doing some age/ability appropriate items.
I have recently started trying to teach him to pick up his own toys. It is still a work in progress and, yes at this age it would be faster and easier for me to do it myself than to spend all the time I do training him to do it himself. But if I did that I would not be teaching him anything except that Mommy will do it for him. So instead of doing it myself in half the time, I take the time to sit with him and train him on how to pick up after himself. Someday my daughter-in-law will thank me.
Children respond to doing any task better if their is a reward attached. Fortunately I was able to discover early on that Daniel’s love languages are touch & words of affirmation (for more information about discovering your child’s love language check out Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages of Children, they even have a test to discover your child’s love language for older children) I discovered this when I told him thank you for handing me a piece of laundry. He went happy crazy and now he wants to help with laundry all the time and if I forget to say thank you after he hands me a piece he will remind me. This works with almost anything. If we say “Thank you” to him he will repeat that action over and over to get more affirmation.
Today I decided to try using affirmation to get him to pick up his blocks. I’ve tried to get him to do this before and usually he get bored after the third block and wanders off or starts crying. So today I decided to sit with him the entire time and affirm each time he put a block in it’s bucket. Yeah, this took WAY longer than doing it myself but it was well worth it as all the blocks got put up and he was so proud of himself.
I started this video about halfway through, when he wasn’t looking (otherwise he would have just wanted to quit and play camera) The angle isn’t the best the whole time since the camera was stationary and obviously a one-year-old little boy is NOT and unfortunately my arm is blocking him part of the time but I think you get the main idea. Hopefully this will give you some ideas about how to train your child up to be a Godly, Marriageable adult.